Closed A Dream of a Walk[Octarus]

[Moritz Craven]

Moritz cocked his head, considering the mans words. He seemed to have something different in mind related to what he himself had said.

"Don't know, I've met others like me, Kelvic, and their each there own. My mother isn't one, but my father and sister are. And their as different from me as I am from you. Maybe more so. And my father... He's more animal, than man. I like to think I'm the best of both, a person and a Okomo, rather than too much of one or the other. But can't say just because you grow fast, you will be better as a person."

"And you... You said yourself you don't remember who you are, or what you did. Whose to say you were a good person before, or did good things before you emerged, if you don't know? Sounds like for all you know you went around stealing babies from their bed and eating them or something. So I guess my answer to your question is... I don't know, but probably no. And in your case... Guess it depends on how much your memories, what you remember doing, makes you who you are. Can't say I know that fully myself. I just know I am me, and be the me that I am."

As the man followed Moritz out of the house the child kept his eyes forward. But he kept his peripherals open, watching for motion, something he was not quite as good at in human form but still better than most humans in his experience.

"I've only told you like... A bunch of times already. So I can't say I'm too confident in that statement. Not when I've pointed it out, and you've done it again. And again. And over again. Doesn't make me too confident you won't do it again, if you've not listened all the times before."

As he walked Moritz focused in his mind on where he was, and where he needed to go. And then he connected the two, the route to take, and began along that route.

"So, do you know how to fight? To protect yourself or others? Honestly, the bit with my sister, that was one of the reasons I wanted to learn it. So if I needed to I could protect myself and others. "

Continuing to walk Moritz listened and pondered, thinking over the things the man had said and he had been told before.

"So... If you were born... Emerged.... From some place. How can you remember stuff from before, from that place and another place? But also not remember? Were you born in this other place, or where you remember that's not that place? You said you remember a sea of grass, is that in this other place you emerged from?"

WC: 466

[Octarus]

He took a while to mull over the boy’s next point. Although he didn’t like it, he made sense. It just wasn’t what he wanted to hear. His hatred ran deep for the men he had in mind, and this felt like agreeing with them on some level. Not that Moritz had meant that. Anything he could have said besides agreeing would have felt like a small betrayal. That was just how he felt. Octarus knew it was irrational, but it was hard to change how it felt. That wasn’t something he wanted to expound upon with this stranger though for he doubted he could control his tongue once he started going. If he had been in his mortal form, Moritz could have seen the tattoos he’d marred to get away from his mortal roots, such was his disdain for the people he had once belonged to. Likewise he wondered why he’d even brought it up in the first place. It was like poking at a old wound so that it would need to heal all over again. An his skin was not so thick as to do that with his present company. “Fair enough. There is only doing after all. Words are here today, gone tomorrow.” Octarus said, agreeing with the boy’s assessment of him. He had after all provoked this upon himself. If only he had left well enough alone with an Okomo jumping into his yard. Though there was some good too it. He was learning a lot about things he hadn’t expected to express an interest in. As Octarus walked along beside Moritz, he took in their surroundings. “I’ve been training with a bow in my free time. I’m not much for anything up close though I suppose I would be partial to learning something if the opportunity arose. What about yourself?” He asked, figuring if anything it was probably something that didn’t require a weapon. That naturally deduced by way of the fact of his second form which was pretty hardy in a fight. “I emerged near an Alvadas beach, and was fortunate enough to be rescued from the sea by a kind local. I didn’t go to the sea of grass until much later when the memories started emerging. In my mortal form I can occasionally recollect times I’ve experience in that skin but it is not a common thing. In this one, other lives come to me as well. Mostly they are disjointed glimpses that I can’t make any sense of other than to say I have lived in quite a few forms over the years. I cannot recall those glimpses in my mortal form however, nor of the strange ephemeral place between that escapes description in this language. I can only recall events associated with that form, but the reason for that escapes me.” He paused for a few ticks, then continued. “I think perhaps I wasn’t supposed to emerge off that beach, and the duality of my existence is a mistake beyond my experience to grasp. Ah, but these are only my tired musings.” Octarus sighed.

[Moritz Craven]

If nothing else the man was willing to admit a point. Though apparently only after it had been made quite a few times...

Moritz was expecting the man to expound upon his response a bit more, but seemed more keen to pass on to the next subject at hand rather than digging in further to it.

He considered pressing the point, but there were other easier things to ask about. Plus, he could always come back to the other stuff later.

He was interested to learn Octarus was learning to use a bow, a range weapon, rather than close combat like himself. Of course he was a hardy fellow, being an Okomo, still quite resilient in his human form. Not as much, but still hardy. Therefore he was better suited for more direct combat styles, he supposed. He was not fully grown and so could not fight as well as an adult, but he was growing quickly and learning techniques which would work better once he was done growing.

Someone though who was less hardy, well it made sense that he'd learn ranged combat. It also, Moritz considered to himself, might indicate something about his personality. Moritz was direct and in your face. This fellow, well he was pretty much the opposite. And so used an opposing fighting style.

"I've never tried a bow or anything like that before. Not sure if it'd be my thing, but I'm always open to trying stuff. I'm always open to a sparring partner. Kyra teaches met different stuff. Unarmed, how to tumble and stuff, jumping, rolls, the like. And some weapons, swords of a kind. I'm still new though, learning, so not too good at much. And not all the way grown either, so can't fully do all the stuff."

As the man continued speaking he became more confused rather than less, unsure on many points he was making. Lives and places and forms? It did not make much sense, and left Mortiz feeling like he was missing some critical piece of information which would make it all make sense.

"Alvadas, thats where my mother is from. But wait, if the sea of grass is here, but you also remember it from before... How can it be from before, where you emerged from, and from after being here? Wait... Lives? How have you lived more than once? Or how can you remember living more than once? Or both? "

While Moritz knew of ghosts, of life and death, clearly some bits had not been fully explained to him regarding the process and things. Probably due to them being things considered obvious and not needing explaining. But Moritz was not one for picking up on subtlety or hinting, and needed more direct knowledge and telling to understand.

"So... You've lived in many forms, and remember them all, but only in bits... How does that work? Like if you were alive before, that means you weren't alive and then where alive anew? Or... But then if you died, how do you remember? Aren't you this you, not... Carrying bits of past stuff? Is that from being an Aeth... Ethaefal?"

WC: 523

[Octarus]

Octarus remembered when he was in Riverfall, and how keen the men there had been to spar unarmed. He wondered if it was the same for the Shinya as he remembered that little tid bit from Moritz about his teacher. Having seen some the nastier byproducts of the practice up close, he wasn’t inclined to use that over his bow. Perhaps you don’t always have a choice though if someone comes right up on you. The boy probably had a natural knack for it given his nature and that might be interesting to learn from sometime. “It’s almost relaxing, using a bow. An it is a good feeling when you hit what you were aiming for. Which in my case is mostly trees. Bow wouldn’t be much use if someone surprised me close though, so I can see the benefit of what you are learning. I tend to avoid such confrontations whenever I can.” He’d expected some confusion about his memories. It was something that he didn’t fully understand himself after all so he tried to put it as simply as he could. “I don’t know what twist of fate made it so I could live multiple lives, but I remember parts clearly as if I had experienced them myself. They aren’t like a dream. I can remember having agency within them, and my motivations for making my decisions in these glimpses into my past.” He tossed his head back and swept aside some loose hair that got into his eye. “I think it is because I am an Ethaefal, whatever that means. It has to do with this form and how it doesn’t seem to age though I have been on this world for many years. I don’t think Ethaefal are born here if that is the right word for it. However I don’t know where we could have originated or why we change forms everyday. I kind of wish there had been someone to explain it to me when I had fallen. That is why I came here actually. Searching for answers though I don’t think I’ve met the right kind of people for that yet.” He said, musing on the fact that he hadn’t been particularly searching very hard. At first he had been concerned with finding a job, and then just soaking in the sights of this city. Then after discovering the body, it was all about forgetting his past. In short, he’d been doing all he could to avoid finding the answer to these burning questions. Was he afraid of what he would find out? Or was he afraid that he had come all of this way for nothing, literally most of his life spent trying to get to here.

[Moritz Craven]

The more Octarus spoke, the more Moritz felt like he was missing something. Some key fact, some nugget of truth that would lead to full understanding. As it was, he felt like he understood very little. In fact the more the man spoke and some things the more confused he felt.

Fighting though, that he at some level understood.

"I avoid fighting if I can, its not like I'm learning so I can go out and pick fights. Or be a bully. I'm learning so I can protect myself and others when I need to. And when that time comes, I don't know I'd have time to prepare or take out a weapon or ready a bow or whatever. Not that I wouldn't learn that other stuff, for if its useful, but it seems silly to only learn that."

Something about what he said though was picking at him.

"Yeah but... How can you be you, if you aren't you? If you live more than once, that has to work some way right? Like... If you live more than once, that means you died, and then were born again, and lived, and some bit of the past clung on. Or else you wouldn't remember. So... And what about ghosts? They die, they aren't alive, but they still live. And remember being alive and stuff. So... How does that work? Is that maybe related to how you remember? But ghosts are not Safe... Er, Ethaefal. They're just people, so would that be from being... What you are? The bit about remembering, or the bit about having it at all? Or are one or both not from you being what you are?"

As he worked through things in his head he spoke as much out loud of his thought process as he thought in his head. It would be clear Moritz was deep in thought on the topic, or at least trying to understand it.

"In your past memories, are you like you are now, an Ethaefal? Or are you not? That might help understand whats from you being what you are, and whats not."

"And I guess Lhavit is known for having your kind, so I guess it kind of makes sense to come here to learn about being one. But I feel like there is more to things than just that. I can't help much, pretty sure your the first I've met."

Still, the fact that he had come here for a singular purpose, to Lhavit, something deep about himself, and not made any progress... That seemed a bit odd.

"So if you came here for that, who all have you asked about it? Any other Etheafal like you?"

WC: 449

[Octarus]

He was beginning to like the boy. His education was obviously a good one if they were teaching him concepts like these. Perhaps his view of humans had been a little jaded before, though he then remembered that Moritz was not actually a human. Moritz was something in between that Octarus quickly decided he quite liked. “You’ve got a good teacher it sounds like. Not that I’d ever doubt an old Shinya.” He said with a smile, wondering idly if he could ever meet this teacher. If he ran into Moritz again that is. That was very possible if his teacher did live as close as he said. “What if it’s not my past that has clung on? Maybe it is other lives that have attached themselves to me because of something in my nature that I do not understand. Could it be that the lives I see are those that have been lived by others that I have passed unknowingly on the street, and absorbed to sustain myself. Maybe it is not moonlight that fills me but the dreams of others, and the lives they have lead. I remember them as if I was in their shoes, but wouldn’t that be the case if I was a memory eater. Or maybe its ghosts I absorb, and that explains the deaths I’ve seen.” He posited back, unsure of the direction the conversation was taking, but willing to follow it along anyways. It was interesting what the boy asked and something he had thought long about over the years. “Never have I been an Ethaefal in my memories. Sometimes I am a man with a family on the sea of grass, riding a horse I treat like a brother. Others I am something else. A creature with long claws, wings and teeth that soars in the sky picking off the kind of men I saw in the other. Still yet, I have worn the form of a woman, with the tail of a seal and beautifully fragile wings like a butterfly. That one confuses the the most I must admit.” She was always so somber with a voice that could melt hearts, and the memories of her were ones that he held closest to his heart. “I have been a man with an arm so hard he used it to forge blades, and I have been a man so fragile, a stiff slap dislocated his jaw.” He looked skyward, pensive about that. So many lives, but still not any closer to what they all meant. “I’ve asked one. A woman who turns with the sun as I do with the moon, but her answer was.. Unsatisfactory. I think she has had a harder time in this life than I have so I don’t fault her for that. I have yet to search for another to find my answers. There is no excuse for that. It is just something I have been putting off.”

[Moritz Craven]

Moritz frowned, further puzzling over his own words along with the Ethaefals.

"No I mean like.... Maybe what you... Mmm...."

Clearly deep in thought Moritz spent a few moments to clarify his thoughts before continuing.

"I mean... That could maybe be true. Or not. But also... How does that work? Like what is the mechanism? Something then has to be storing who we are, or our memories, outside of just our body. So what is that then? Otherwise ghosts wouldn't work. And if you can remember others memories, that also means that their is some other means of remembering or storing out memories, other than just our body. Do you understand what I mean? Not sure what, but something."

Moritz was a deeply introspective fellow, self aware and curious, willing to take the time to dig at things and logic them out.

"Well she is just my combat teacher, I've got other teaches as well at school. But I don't think they taught me this, I just... You know try to reason stuff out, not just take what I see on the face. The face, what people say, appearances, they can deceive you. Sometimes you have to dig below to understand things."

As they walked along, Moritz not paying much attention to his surroundings and more to the thoughts in his head, an older woman came down the street going in the opposite direction. At first she was walking towards them normally, but as she neared and began to pass she craned her neck and stared, first at the naked child and then at the horned fellow. Back to the child, and back to the man with horns. She seemed about to say something, but was clearly at a loss for words or what she should say.

"Although, the only problem I see with that story, the idea, is the... Well source of the memories. Other people. You said you remember places and things, ones from before or with other people. But if you were taking those from other people, what are the odds you would not know any of them? Surely at least one you would recall having seen before, having passed along or whatever. I find it hard to believe that you are both stealing memories by accident, and also by chance are doing it to people only that you cannot see and have never seen before. Seems a bit complicated, surely there is a simpler way of things to answer the situation. I mean surely by chance if it was other people you'd meet them again in person after taking their memories"

Suddenly having another idea, Moritz smiled at the man.

"And your theory would be easy to test. First, lock yourself inside away from the moon. But do it close to other people. See if you get hungry. Then stay away from people, and go out at night. And see if you need to eat or get hungry. That seems a simple enough test of your theory to see which is true."

The woman, having slowed as she passed and only being a bit past them at that moment took on a confused face from having overheard their conversation. If the Ethaefal did nothing to intercede she would quickly scurry away in haste.

The fact that the man did not recall being what he was now seemed to further prove his own theory, that the mans past memories were something new and his new Ethaefal nature was unrelated to his retention of memories. Remembering perhaps was related, but retention... No he believed something else was at work.

"I think maybe you are looking at it wrong. Maybe it is two things, not one. You assume remembering and being are caused by the same thing. But then, if you were not as you are now before, then how could they be related? Surely there are two things going on, the remembering and the holding. And it would make more sense that only one is related to what you are now. And if they are not related, then perhaps the one that allows the holding is related to what allows ghosts to be as they are."

Meeting the mans gaze Moritz pondered over his eyes.

"I suppose if you really want to know something, you will figure it out. Seek it out. If you haven't, then it must not be that important to you."

WC: 736

[Octarus]

The boy Moritz posed an interesting idea. Series of ideas really. What if there was a broader connection to his memories that he didn’t understand. To all of their memories. “I think I follow.” Octarus mused, while he tracked down just what he wanted to say. “How would we go about defining such a place that exists outside of the physical realm? Granted it would answer many of my questions if it existed, but how do we go about testing the immaterial? Are our dreams a part of this place, or another realm entirely?” He didn’t expect Moritz to know the answers but he was intrigued to see the way the boys mind would work at the questions. Moritz had some interesting insights so far so he wasn’t opposed to exploring this topic further. A woman walked up, and catching the look on her face Octarus frowned before he realized how odd they must look walking down the street. Then he busied himself with looking anywhere that wasn’t near the woman while he picked back up on their conversation. If his memory served him correctly, Madeira didn’t live too much farther which hopefully meant they wouldn’t run into many more curious onlookers. “I might have to try that. Provided I can find willing volunteers.” Octarus said, thinking the boys suggestion through. “I should also add that all of these memories are from distant times, or at least I am pretty sure they are. Rarely am I given something so simple as a date when each occurred but there are other factors at play here. When I traced the tattoo’s on the back of my mortal form to the Sea of grass I discovered they belonged to a family long since perished. I suspect it is the same for the others as it wouldn’t make much sense for me to have their memories if they were still alive, would it? Unless this other realm is leaking through me to this one.” Octarus puzzled over that for a moment, only dimly realizing that the woman had scurried off away from the strange pair making their way down the street. “If I’m interpreting you correctly, perhaps it is because of this form I am able to tap into this realm that holds on to these memories. An the memories I am given access to are linked to the mortal form I have been attached to, or not because I have no way of knowing if these are my memories just because I view them through their eyes.” Octarus frowned in concentration at the statement, and continued with another unexplained piece of the puzzle. “There is also the fact that I can age things by a day which I’m not sure how it fits into any of this, aside from the link between time and memories. Perhaps they are all a part of the same immaterial place? Dreams, time, memories, all flowing across this immaterial plane that we have sporadic access to?” Octarus chewed his bottom lip. “You are right though, I do need to get back to searching for answers, and I think I know just where to start.”

[Moritz Craven]

Moritz shrugged as he walked, not bothering to glance over as he responded.

"I don't know, one theory at a time. I mean really, do I have to figure everything out? Could be one place, or more than one, or part of this one, or who knows. I'm still working on my other theory about remembering and holding and stuff."

Soon enough the woman ran off, something Moritz noticed in a secondary fashion but not something he was directly paying attention to.

"Sounds like the more you say, the more seems to indicate you aren't a memory eater or whatever you said. Seems like if its memories of people from long ago, they can't be from people around now. And if your remembering stuff from here, but another place here, seems unlikely its from another place. Or maybe you came from the place where the memories are, and you are some physical collection of other memories? I don't know, its been a long night."

"Either one. Either there is some place full of memories... But then that wouldn't explain how ghosts work, since they aren't like you, and they aren't alive, but they have memories. So unless they can access this place, but unlike you only on the ones they had before they died, or there is something else going on that lets you and the ghosts hold the memories and things, and lets you remember other memories and them their lives ones. I think the second is more likely, since it requires less things at once. Seems odd to me that you and ghosts would do the same thing, but remember stuff differently. So more likely the holding is in common, and the remembering is the only difference rather than both being different."

Moritz was beginning to ask another question when he suddenly cut off.

"Wait, you can do what with age?... Whats that?"

Perking up Moritz looked about, hearing a familiar sound. He stopped in his tracks and scanned the horizon, till he locked on to the direction it was coming from. Back behind them, the direction they had come from which was also the direction the woman had run off to.

He could hear the click of hooves on he ground, and in a moment saw motion. Up, down, side and up and down and side, up an down, bounding and hopping. The closer they got the more he made out, until he realized it was not one but two. A pair of Okomo hopping directly towards them, with people on their backs. From this distance they looked oddly thick, thicker than someone just wearing regular clothes. And the Okomo were not bare, but covered in things.

"What did that woman call it... Oh right, barding."

WC: 459

[Octarus]

“Fair” He replied simply, his mind shifting back to the previous topic to see if there was anything he’d missed. There was something delightfully absurd about this whole ordeal that really got his creative juices flowing so he really wasn’t in the mindset to worry about where that woman had run off to. Octarus was simply glad she was gone so he could think. “This other place.. It would help if I could remember it like I do these other lives, but I chase it only for it to evaporate from my mind when I get close. Strange existence this, like I’m holding my breath till I get the proper introduction that so obviously passed me by. As the years stretched on, I’d given up hope on ever finding a satisfying answer, but this discussion does raise some interesting questions.” “Its all beyond my capacity to understand I fear. I know next to nothing about ghosts so I was unfamiliar with these traits you see in common. If that is the case though, that does make me question if I am half living then, half dead, stuck between worlds which then gives me access to said powers. That doesn’t seem wholly consistent though, so your premise seems the most promising. If I and the ghosts are both associated with this other ethereal place lets call it for now, then I wonder how dying activates this ability. An if that is the case that means the potential is there for the living to access this place as well, though they would probably need extraordinary circumstances to do so.” Octarus opened his mouth, ready to explain when he caught the question and curious expression on Moritz’s face. He cocked his head before turning in the direction the boy was facing. At first he wasn’t exactly sure what Moritz was looking for, only dimly aware this had been the direction the woman had traveled in. Then he saw them, two riders that were unmistakably Shinya. He had a creeping sense of dread that this wasn’t a casual patrol, but he moved to stand out of the way just in case. It was then that he realized how the boy’s nakedness might be a problem. Might because he had never traveled the streets of Lhavit naked so he wasn’t sure how they dealt with these matters. Hands fidgeting at his sides, he looked to Moritz. “Think they’re here for us?” While the Shinya approached he tried to make himself look as unobtrusive as possible. With his horns, and characteristics he had little hope of going unnoticed if it was them they were after so to appear non-threatening was the best option. Idly, he hoped he wasn’t going to get into a spot of trouble for this.