[Flashback] The Finding of the Sugar Spoon (Solo)

[Skadi Trinketsnatch]

Summer 32, 510 Lady Lily, she's the best! She's the fastest to undress! Ask her once, Ask her twice! She'll play naughty if you play nice! The price is cheap if you want more, But she sells it quick, cause she's a... "Quiet, damn you!" yelled the man from the courtyard below. "Sing about my wife that way again and I'll shoot you down!" "Baldy-Baldy, pretends it isn't true!" cackled Skadi. He took flight, soaring up above Zeltiva. It was truly a beautiful day. A perfect day for mischief; the city bustled with folk from newly docked ships, and all of the wealthy were frittering around town, sharing gossip. It was the sort of day that one felt obliged to use well, with the sun just so, and the mood just so. One could not help but wake up feeling cheerful. That is, if you were a bird. Perhaps humans never have such days. Skadi circled happily, cawing at a trio of seagulls and snatching a fish from the smallest one’s beak. Going into a steep dive, he swooped and alighted on a statue in a garden. He ate his fish with relish, too distracted to pay attention to his location. When at last he finished, he realized that he was in a garden that he had never entered before. The garden was quite spacious, with polished granite walls. He was perched on a statue off to the side; an identical statue was across the way, facing him. In the center of the garden was a beautiful fountain, carved of marble in the shape of two swans sky-dancing. Skadi fly-hopped across to the fountain, splashing into the water. After a thorough clean, he exited the fountain and examined the plants. He had never seen most of these types of flowers before; he resolved to take a few on his way back from this adventure. The garden led to a grand house, with a lower patio and a second story patio as well. Both overlooked the garden. He could hear voices on the second floor, and so he took flight. "Susan! Look at that bird!" said Margaret, patting her friend with stubby fingers as Skadi perched on the guardrail. "Isn't he gorgeous? I've never seen one so close..." Skadi looked around, ignoring the loud humans. The patio held three tables, each with a neat white tablecloth. Three portly middle aged women at one of the tables, and were now flapping their arms excitedly at the sight of the magpie. "Shh, you'll scare it!" said the third, Abigail. She was the largest of the three, possessed of multiple necks and at least two torsos worth. A servant entered the patio and walked over, carrying a tea tray. "Your tea, madams." he said politely, setting down three teacups. He glanced up, frowning in distaste at Skadi. "A scavenger. Shall I remove him, misses?" "No, no, Thindall! We are enjoying his company." one of the women giggled, and Thindall hesitantly picked up the teapot and poured them tea. The teacups were delightful specimens of china, and Skadi eyed them covetously. "Oh Thindall, you know I like sugar in my tea by now, don't you?" said Abigail, her jowls quivering as she grinned. "Of course, madam. I forgot it inside... One moment." the servant went back inside. Skadi began to sing, a safe birdsong he had been taught by a mockingbird. It was supposed to be a robin song. It had a whimsical melody, which grew bored of its own pace irregularly and alternated between octaves. It told the tale of a young bird who saw himself in a pond. He was rather proud of his imitation; he had always had a gift for impressions. "Willickers, Margaret!" said Susan with an astonished hiccup. "Look at this fellow!" "Give him a peanut!" Margaret said, elbowing Abigail. Abigail hesitantly reached a blunt finger into her dish and tossed a nut onto the stone. Skadi looked at the peanut, then back up at the ugly humans. He had just eaten a full fish, and was quite full. Nonetheless, he dropped to the floor and pecked at the shell, eating the two savory pieces inside. He then hopped back up to the rail, so that he could look at their teacups again. Thindall came outside again, carrying a small silver container. He set it down and opened it, and Skadi gaped in awe. Inside the container was a mound of sugar, and buried in the sugar was the most beautiful spoon Skadi had ever seen. It was polished silver, and contained a large opal at the thickest point of its handle. It had more delicacy and delight than Skadi had imagined could possibly be fit into so small an object. Abigail greedily shoveled sugar into her tea. Skadi winced inwardly as the spoon splashed into the brown tea. She set it down carelessly, a tiny spot of tea drying in the center of the spoon. The women continued to speak, but Skadi did not hear them. All of his attention was focused on his new found love. It sat helplessly on the table, jostled by the fat woman's elbow as she leaned against the table. Skadi was in the middle of contemplating flapping into their midst and taking it when Thindall came and took the spoon and sugar back inside. Skadi let loose an involuntary squawk of displeasure. "What is it, cutie?" said Abigail, throwing another peanut at him. He dodged it, letting it fall down into the garden. "Ugly fat woman, talk talk, say nothing!" he said angrily, taking flight. He grabbed the tablecloth with his beak, and tugged it from the table. The fat women screamed in fright, flailing their gelatinous arms. Abigail fell from her chair. With that, Skadi flew through the open door and into the house to rescue his spoon.

[Skadi Trinketsnatch]

The house was indeed lavish; it smelled strongly of three-day-old flowers, and had frilly décor. Skadi paid little attention, however, focused on finding where Thindall had gone. Directly ahead was a wide spiral staircase, along the side of which was an automatic moving seat. Thindall was seated upon it, daintily looking about as he descended… the sugar container in his hands. Skadi gave a loud caw and swooped down the stairs, wings beating furiously. “Oh heavens!” the butler said, jumping from the seat and bolting down the stairs. He skidded across the tiles of the downstairs hallway, rushing to the right. Skadi followed, catching a glimpse of a leg passing through the kitchen door before it slammed shut. Skadi let loose a cacophony of cursewords, scratching at the door furiously with his claws. “Back, vile creature!” came a muffled shout from inside. “Renny, help me! A beast is outside! Hear it speak!” “What’s this nonsense?” came a much louder voice. “Disturbing my kitchens! Let me…” The door opened, revealing a bulky man, tall with a great mustache. Without hesitation, Skadi plunged above his head and through the door. There are more provocative descriptions that might be used to explain what happened next, but they wouldn’t be appropriate here. Let it merely be said that mayhem ensued. Bellowing, the cook Renny threw projectiles at the angry magpie, who bravely darted across the room to Thindall. Thindall tossed his arms over his face to protect himself, sending the sugar pot flying into the air… As well as the spoon. It plummeted towards the hard tile, and Skadi halted in midair and lunged for it. Gripping the spoon in his beak, he hopped to the counter. “Shut the door! Don’t let it get out!” yelled the cook, raising a small cutting board and swinging it wildly. He missed and knocked a large bowl of potatoes across the room, chipping the tile beneath. Skadi jumped across the room, evading the humans as food and other various articles flew everywhere. He escaped through the rear door before they could close it, flying into the dining room and out into the main hall, the echoing hoots and hollers of his pursuers pressing. The main hall had large, fancy doors that presumably led outside. Next to the doors on either side were paintings of poodles, lounging in fluffy pillows. Skadi ignored these, looking frantically for a way out. He flew across the room, nudging open a door that was ajar and going inside. He was in a broom closet. Without hesitation, he turned into human form in a flash, turning and shutting the door fully. He held the spoon tightly in his hand. He heard the pounding footsteps of the two men outside. “Where did it go?” said the cook, panting. “I’ll kill that thing and cook it for tonight! Bastard ruined my kitchen!” Skadi heard their footsteps receding and sighed in relief. Once he heard doors shutting, he came out from the broom closet, stark naked. He tried the front doors, but they were locked, even from the inside. He wandered back into the kitchen, pausing to grab an apple from the floor. He took a bite and opened the door that he had originally come through, peeping around the corner. No one was in sight. He crept across the hall; he could hear voices carrying down the staircase. He quickly scurried past it, and found the servant’s residence. After a moment’s consideration, he found a white dress shirt and a pair of pants roughly his size and donned them. He tore the buttons from three of the other shirts as an afterthought and put them in his pocket. He walked in the general direction of the back patio, trying to find the way outside. He opened a door and froze. The cook and the servant were inside. They turned, startled, and looked at him. “Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in this house?” said Thindall, flustered. He appeared to have lost his composure by this point; his previously slicked back hair was now a mess. The cook held his cutting board tightly in his hands. Skadi eyed it with pause, and then made great effort to speak slowly and to appear disoriented. “I am very sorry, gentle-masters. I-fell-asleep, and then I woke up in this house. Where-am-I?” Thindall and the cook exchanged looks, and then the butler answered. “You are in the home of… Is that my shirt? You’re wearing my clothes, you drunk!” Skadi looked at him blankly. “Am I? ” He made a show of looking at his outfit. “These… are my clothes. I did not take. May-I-leave? I am supposed to meet with the Lord of the city today.” The humans appeared unnerved by this. The cook was completely speechless. “I apologize, we’re just… You didn’t see a large, black bird, did you?” Skadi shook his head. “Oh, well… Ah. That is unfortunate. I will show you outside, then, master…?” “Alhagrin,” Skadi said, using the name of a legendary owl lord and trying not to laugh. He followed the muttering butler, who led him to the front doors. He took a long key from his vest pocket and unlocked the doors. “Thank you, and once-again-I-am-sorry,” said Skadi with an uncharacteristically slow smile. With that, he held his head high and walked out of the house. He kept his composure as long as he could—but as soon as he was out of sight, he let loose a triumphant cackle of laughter.

[Skadi Trinketsnatch]

Skadi strolled down the street happily, his bare feet slapping the road. The happy weight of his trophies sagged in his pockets, but he resisted the urge to take them out and examine them—he would wait until he returned to his roost. Just to be safe. He walked through the city, whistling a tune softly. He began to mentally compose a song about his adventure to sing. He settled upon a simple ballad meter for it, a steady beat that could be danced to easily, even by birds. Brave Skadi, the ‘trepid, Brave Skadi, the cunning! Into chaos he flew, and sent his foes running! He wasn’t sure where to take it from there. Every time he found a good line, he found that he had trouble finding a good one that could fit after it and still rhyme. Eventually he concluded that the problem was that he was still hungry. He had transformed, after all, and all he had had was an apple. He ate at a small but busy inn, ordering a bowl of the day’s pot. He sat by the door. After eating his full, he put three buttons on the table and left in a flash. He wondered how long it would take them to notice he hadn’t paid; not that he stayed around to find out. Skadi made his way back to The Proud Stallion, his home. He climbed up to the roof, making his way to his safe little nook. He declothed, folding the clothes and putting them beside his own in their safe crevice. He took out the spoon and set It carefully in his nest, and put the buttons in his tea cup. Then, with a sigh of relief, he transitioned into his natural form. Giving a happy caw, he admired the spoon. It was a wonderful creation; the opal shimmered in rainbows when he turned his head. He sat in his nest beside it, staring into the opal. He admired his new trophy for some time, but it had been a long and trying today. Warm and safe, Skadi fell fast asleep.

[Tabarnac]

XP Award! Skadi XP Award: Composition +4; Larceny +4; Singing +4 Additional Notes: Fun times! Just so you know, Liminal’s write up of Zeltiva says that no inns really sell food, but I’m willing to be lenient on that one. Just re-read the Zeltiva wiki if you would and be aware that it is highly uncommon. He’ll just have to start stealing food from people’s windows! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or concerns. Keep writing!