[Character Discussion] What Are Your PC's Negative Traits?

[Gossamer]

Character Flaws

Quite some time ago, I was asked what I thought someone's negative character traits were. I answered them with what I felt was sincerity and honesty. Then, I asked them what they saw as mine in return. They never answered me. I don't know if it was fear or if they simply didn't know or didn't care.

Either way, it doesn't matter.

What mattered was that it really bothered me that I left that part of my character's CS unfinished. It was not because I couldn't see my PC having negative traits, but it was because I was still developing them IC and wanted to reach deep down and find some good solid traits that fleshed out the reality of my character better.

She's something of a Pollyanna, my PC.

And honestly, that's one of her biggest negative traits. She uses that trait to cover a whole host of other flaws starting with a lack of self-worth and horrible jealousy. She's always striving to be perfect and falling far short of that. Tazrae makes it an art form of setting the proverbial bar high for herself. Then she internally beats herself up about failing to reach it. She doesn't see herself the way others see her because she keeps hearing voices in her head from her past telling her negative things. She is literally afraid all the time, not of the wilderness and the world, but of letting herself and other people down.

There's no way in her world that she will ever live up to the person she has decided she needs to be in order to be happy. And we all know how crazy that sounds. She expects her world to come crashing down at any minute, and in some ways looks for it to happen and sabotages her own life by spotting moments of weakness or lapses in judgment as sort of "I told you so" self-loathing. Then once those are identified, she lights into herself in a terrible fashion, not bouying herself up but tearing what little progress in self-love she's made back down to self-hate.

To say this season has been hard on her is an understatement. Its like all her nightmares come true. And in many ways, she feels what has happened to her was self-deserved.

Pretty hardcore, huh?

What about you guys? What are some of your character's negative traits and why? I know I didn't get much into mine, but it has to do with her upbringing in Riverfall and the lies that always surrounded her. What is your list like? Do you have anything to add to my list that you've observed?

I think this could be a very fun and enlightening conversation about our PCs. Feel free to pop into this thread and say a few words if the topic is interesting to you.

[Shiress]

After reading this, I realize that Shiress and Tazrae have a whole lot in common. The lack of self-worth and constant sense of foreboding, especially. Though, for Shiress, it's the fear that she will lose those she loves most.

My poor girl has been through a lot and has lost everyone in her life that has ever really meant anything to her. Almost all of those losses come from losing writing partners, but instead of deleting threads or blacking out those relationships, I chose to incorporate the loss of those people into Shiress's story.

At the time, I just didn't realize just exactly how many losses and heartbreaks that would end up being for Shiress.

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure that lack of self-worth is a proper way to describe Shiress, though I think that is a big issue with her. Shiress lives in a constant state of penance, and this is why she is quicker to give medical attention to others rather than receive it herself. She feels that as long as she is in pain, whether mental or physical, the gods may not see fit to inflict it upon her. Another reason why it's so hard for her to accept compliments, too. Compliments make her feel good, and feeling good might get people she loves taken away.

It wasn't until my threads with Shade that I began to wonder if the incredible pain tolerance that I have always written Shiress as having wasn't from her time as a slave but just another form of penance for her. After my threads with Shade, I also realized that the monk has a point; Shiress could, in fact, be unstable enough to self-harm. Something I may explore in the future with her.

So, yeah, it would be interesting to get Shiress and Tazrae together for a long chat, I think.

[Cleon]

For Cleon it might take a second, but I think negative traits are the following:

Narcissism: Basking in ego. You can only believe good things about yourself, taking anything negative as a false attack.

Immorality: Displaying immoral actions, speaking immoral sentiments, and believing in immoral justices (the end justifies the means). The opposite of morality.

These traits helped him survive what he had to deal with back in Sunberth, but they were hardly good influences growing up. His narcissism shielded him from the abuse he suffered as a child and gave him the self-confidence he needed to support his two sisters when they ran away from their family, but it also hurt his relationships with them as well.

He was unable to take criticism from his sister Farren and in the end, that's what drove her away when he constantly kept needling her about her life choices while taking no accountability for his own. Eventually, he did take accountability for it, but then he started to abuse that story to get a dopamine hit for his own ego because it has in his experience elicited sympathy which he craves unconsciously.

As for his immorality, that is something I need to work on because while I have mentioned occasionally his views on stealing I have yet to go really in-depth about just how amoral his life in Sunberth groomed him to be. For the majority of his life, it has been a zero-sum game for him. Someone always has to lose, and he just wants to make sure that he and his sisters got by however they need to. When Farren decided she didn't want to be a part of his group anymore, he accepted the idea of selling her into slavery without a second thought, using that money to travel to Syka with Faye. He only gave it that second thought when it served him, and did a token of what he could have to try and get into contact with her.

There is more to explore for sure, because there is a bit of pettiness and thoughtlessness mixed up in all of that, and there is his tendency to heavily rely on his intuition which occasionally means he makes important decisions while in a turbulent mood rather than waiting till he has cleared his mind.

I just wanted to get that out there first while I was thinking about it. I really enjoyed this prompt Gossamer, and I look forward to seeing what else people think about their pcs.

[Shade]

This is interesting for this character.

Shade grew into a man among the traditions of Nykas Monkhood which is at the most a protector organization designed to counter the Apriture. They are arrogant entitled and outspoken.

He retains those qualities except for the outspoken part. He is a super chill guy who rarely says what he thinks. He's an observer and soft spoken. He's unwilling to volunteer information about himself or others. Tight lipped isn't remotely close to describing him accurately. He's a Fort Knox.

He's artistic but judgmental about others who are artistic. Meaning if he finds things subpar he won't praise them openly at all.

He finds exploring emotions unnecessary. He'd rather pluck out all his fingernails and toenails himself rather than have a feelings talk. But he will show someone he cares in a thousand a ways.

He doesn't lie openly but he will lie with silence.

He thinks most people are weak and untrustworthy. If they prove him wrong they will get upgraded without issue in his mind as good people.

He is not materialistic.... at all. Things can and will be replaced if needed. People can't be. He likes pets... dislikes most people. He finds them exhausting. He values old knowledge and oral traditions well above trends.

He feels like a body is ones temple for the soul. So he really disapproves lazy weak fat or unclean people.

Internally he is very critical of others while remaining polite outwardly. He will be helpful even if he doesn't want to be out of a strong civic duty drive. He will internally complain though, almost bitterly.

He doesn't support weakness. Nyka ate weakness alive and that's all he's ever known. The weak get the strong killed

There's more...

.