The Threads of Spring (Hadrian)

[Kendall Saarinen]

There were signs of Hadrian's emotion, signs that it was getting ready to boil over his frozen surface. The emotion seemed to be streaming off of him in waves and Kendall could feel it surging through him. His heart was racing and he could feel it pounding against his chest. He wondered if Hadrian could feel it as they were pressed against each other. For a moment he wanted to wonder why this was happening. Just days ago they were simple aquaintances. Nothing more than two people who met at Kova's Well. He wanted to wonder but he didn't. He could wonder when they were no longer in each other's arms. For now Kendall would just get lost. Kendall's muscles tightened a little as he and Hadrian started to tumble back only to feel relief as his back collided with the wall and Hadrian's body with his own. Hadrian's skin felt cool against his own as the two were pressed together. He could feel the pressure building under the man's cool surface. It was begging to be released. This man who at first glance seemed to be calm and almost void of emotion now seemed to be buzzing with it. Kendall had thought he had known passion. He thought his love for Kay'lan had been filled to the brim with it. Kay'lan had not kept any hidden emotion. Everything had been on the surface with him. There was nothing to search for. Granted, Kendall would not have had the ability to feel the hidden emotions back when he was with him. There was something about knowing that the person who held you was not sharing their emotion with the world that was appealing. The fact Kendall could sense what was hidden only made him want to be closer to Hadrian, knowing he would be the only one to know those feelings and to feel them. If only Hadrian could feel the emotion threatening to boil over in Kendall as well. Then maybe he would not have worried. There was nothing more he wanted in that moment than Hadrian and his lips against his own. Slowly Kendall pulled away although only for a chance to catch his breath before pulling Hadrian's lips back against his own. He felt overcome with feeling and he felt like he could barely breathe. This feeling was a bit different. Getting close to someone like this was so different than it used to be. His body reacted different than when he was a girl. It scared him a bit although the emotion he felt for Hadrian was much stronger than the fear. This was new but he wouldn't let fear hold him back. Not when feelings like Hadrian gave him hung in the balance. With Hadrian this close nothing else mattered except keeping him there. Kay'lan was nothing but some boy in the past now. There was no comparison now that he had a taste of Hadrian.

[Hadrian]

There was something immensely exciting about the thinness of the curtains that separated them from the world, how they were sharing a secret among themselves, and how Kendall's hot skin felt against his own, cooler boundary. All the same, he felt warmer than usual, as if he were some ice sculpture warming himself around a bonfire, and that fire was melting him away, unlocking things from those inner depths, and the strength of that leviathan in his belly frightened him. They came to that crux where the river must flood its banks or ebb and recede for the time being, and so he pulled away just enough to speak, though at first all he could do was gasp as quietly as he was able. "I don't... know what to do..." There were, of course, many ways that could be taken, and likely most of them were accurate. His eyes were glazed with a desire he didn't understand, but with his Auristics, he could see past the flesh and recognize the girl that Kendall had been. Everything was so confused now when it hadn't been not so very long ago. "Perhaps... we should go... pay for clothes... and..."

[Kendall Saarinen]

This moment could have lasted forever and Kendall would not have minded in the slightest. Since his accident in Zeltiva he had never been happier. A stray thought crossed his mind as he was holding tight to Hadrian. "Maybe my accident was for the best..." That sort of thinking was diffinately new. He was not supposed to be in his body nor did he want to be. The haunting fact was that if it wasn't for the accident he would not be in Syliras embracing Hadrian. He would have been sitting in class thinking of nothing more than seeing his family after class. It was a bit scary to be faced with all this new emotion and feeling and yet in the back of his mind he did not care. It was worth the fear to share this time with Hadrian in the dressing room just feet from the public's eye. Just when Kendall could not imagine the moment getting any better it stopped. Hadrian drew back leaving nothing but a few gasps in his wake. Kendall wanted to pull him back against him. He wanted to keep this lapse in normalcy running but Hadrian was closing off for real this time. His emotions seemed to be in a sort of flurry of confusion, passion, and even a sense of longing. Hadrian's words seemed to say more than Kendall's mark ever could. Kendall knew what Hadrian should do, or what he wanted him to do. Kendall wanted to return to a new moments before when there was no questions. This was not about him though. It was about both of them. His hand trailed off of Hadrian's shoulder trying to feel the coolness of his skin for one last moment. Only the Gods knew if he would get to feel it again. "You should do what feels right to you." His mismatched eyes looked into Hadrian's trying to search for what went wrong. He had to have done something wrong to make Hadrian retreat. Quietly Kendall gathered the clothing that was strewn across the floor. He felt the jabs of worry poke at him as he picked each one up. He was convinced he must have done something wrong. When the clothing had been collected Kendall pulled the shirt he had been wearing previously back on. He approached the doorway to the changing room and paused as his fingers wrapped around the curtain. Once it was cast aside he and Hadrian were back in public and someone else would move into their temporary hideaway. He held the curtain aside for Hadrian, motioning for him to leave first. Once the pair were back in the main part of the store Kendall began to think of money. He was still intending to get a job but without one he did not have any money. "Petch, how did I expect to buy clothing if I don't have any money?" The emotion that he had left in the fitting room was now taking the back seat to not having the money to buy himself clothing. With a sigh he ran his fingers through his blond hair, pushing his bangs out of his eyes. He could not ask Hadrian for money but without it he would be stuck without clothing. He looked nervously over at Hadrian. "Hadrian... I'm sorry, I don't have much money right now. I'm looking for a job and I will pay you back but I don't think I can pay for the clothing on my own." The fact that he was looking for a job was proof that he was considering to stay in Syliras, at least for a while longer. He was still nervous. He didn't not want Hadrian thinking he was unreliable or lazy. "I'll understand if you would prefer to keep your money for yourself though."

[Hadrian]

"I don't... know..." But he was repeating himself and now Kendall could probably intuit what he was saying, and so he flushed and looked away, ducking down to collect his clothes. He wasn't sure who the blue shirt belonged to now, but he picked it up anyway, and fumbled into his old, worn travel clothes. Stumbling out of the fitting room, face ablaze with embarrassment, he just nodded and mumbled for a while before he made any sense at all, and he was careful to keep his crotch covered because, well, no matter what body he was in now, Kendall had been a crush of his back in the day. "I, um, I'll buy your clothes too," he said. "No need to pay me back unless you really want to. It's just money, after all. Um, right..." He wondered if he had botched things, whatever 'things' were. Or if Kendall would truly show up that night, and, if he did, what would they do? "Don't worry about it." He reached for where he kept his money.

[Kendall Saarinen]

The thoughts kept barraging Kendall as he walked with Hadrian. He had ruined everthing, he knew it. There had to have been something wrong with him for Hadrian to just stop and start muttering in confusion. He was sure he knew that reason. He was convinced it was because he was stuck in this male body. He had thought wrong. Being a guy was not going to bring him closer to Hadrian. It was only going to let them find themselves in this strange moments where emotion blinded them, or so he thought. Just as the moments prior had swept Kendall up in what felt like a break from his more negitive emotions he started to feel himself slipping back down into his same rut again. He was starting to think of Zeltiva, his home. He thought of his family and the university. Strangly, he did not think of Kay'lan. He had tasted something better. Something that he worried he would not taste again. Kendall simply shot a nervous glance in Hadrian's direction when Hadrian agreed to lay the money out. "Thank you Hadrian. Hopefully I can pay you back soon." There was more he wanted to say. A question was perched on his tounge waiting to get the chance to run free. He couldn't ask it though. It would sound childish and the last thing he wanted to look like right now was a child. When the clothing was bought and they were out of the store Kendall could feel the question burning to come out. He needed to ask it, or at least say it. He was scared and the overwhelming feeling of Hadrian's confusion was making it hard to concentrate. Finally, Kendall's eyes turned to Hadrian and the words just came out. "It's because I am stuck in his body. That is why you are confused right?" There was no hint of anger in his voice although maybe I shade of pain. He wanted with all of his heart to be "right" for Hadrian. "I am really sorry if I did something wrong. I..." He looked down at the ground, his heart pounding out of his chest. "I don't know either. All of this is so new to me." He was trying to pick his words carefully. He did not want to say anything wrong. "I don't know if you have been in a situation like... what just happened back there but I haven't. At least not like this." He motioned to his body hoping that Hadrian understood he was refering to his gender change. "It is new, it is scary, and it is petching confusing but..." He knew what he wanted to say but it seemed to get stuck in his chest. "But I'm glad that if I had to be scared and confused it was with you. I don't think anyone else would have given me a second glance after knowing what happened to me." Kendall was scared of those words. He could have just made the final push to make Hadrian keep away from him and that was the last thing he wanted.

[Hadrian]

Hadrian paid for the clothes, waited quietly while they were packaged neatly by the staff. He took his own packages and some of Kendall's under his arm, a silent sort of apology for being awkward and unworldly and every other sort of not worth Kendall's time. At least, that was the way it seemed to him. "You don't have to pay me back, Kendall," he said softly, and then they were walking toward the door. He paused there, looking Kendall in the mis-matched eyes. "I..." But he grew quiet as they left and Kendall said so many things. As they walked, whether toward his home or Kendall's, he reached out and took Kendall's free hand. It was a casual thing on one hand, but also deliberate. He offered a tight, embarrassed smile. "It's confusing because I've never... done this before. It doesn't matter... about your shape. I thought you beautiful before, I think you beautiful now. Either way... you're you. And that makes both shapes beautiful. More beautiful. I'm scared too, and confused, but I think you're wrong about one thing... There will be plenty of people who will not mind your new body at all. But if you'll... if you'll come to me tonight like you said you would... then we can talk about things. Frankly. And... maybe you'll... let me kiss you again..." He blushed and looked away. "I would like that," he mumbled.

Hadrian's Purchases Blue Cotton Shirt - 5 sm White Cotton Tunic - 5 sm Grey Cotton Vest - 5 sm Black Leather Jerkin - 5 gm Black Cotton Trousers - 5 sm Kendall's purchases - ??

[Kendall Saarinen]

Kendall could not help but smile back when he felt Hadrian's hand grasp his own. Once again he was faced by one of Hadrian's rare smiles. He always felt a surge of happiness when he could get Hadrian to smile at him. Holding his hand was not too bad either. Hadrian had said similar words to him before. He had told Kendall that his form did not matter many times but he did not really believe it until Hadrian repeated it in in response to Kendall's scared words. He was not sure if he was surprised to find out that what happened back in the fitting room was a first for Hadrian. He seemed around the same age as Kendall and it was not like he was terrible looking. Hadrian had been much more dedicated to his studies than Kendall had been back when he was a girl. He had been a good student but Kay'lan had distracted him a bit. "Well, you did well for your first time." Kendall felt an awkward smile play on his lips. He was blushing from Hadrian's words as he tried to find the words to answer. He thought Hadrian was beautiful too, or handsome. He kept getting lost in his blue eyes. The eyes that reminded him of the Zeltivan sea. "Thank you Hadrian. I worry a lot. I worry that I don't look right. Other people my age have had twenty one years to learn how to pull off... being a guy and I feel like I am trying to fit all those years into three seasons." It was hard to hide his more feminine tendencies but around Hadrian he did not have to. He knew the secret that Kendall hid and he wasn't scared. "I would like that too." He felt his heart racing a bit at those words. He was not sure what he would talk about with Hadrian. He thought back to the nights that he had spent with female friends of his back when he was still a girl but there was no way this would be the same. He doubted that they would sit around and just talk, although he would have liked that. He liked talking to Hadrian. He found him very interesting. Mostly, he made Kendall feel comfortable and that was all he had wanted since the day he had woken up in this form. "I think kissing can be aranged." Kendall gave a shy smile, showing off a little of his hidden feminine allure. He wanted nothing more than to be back on Hadrian's lips. Although he would not mind just talking with him. Never in all the years he had passed by Hadrian studing at the university did he think that he would have ever felt these feelings for him. He had always simply thought Hadrian must have been a smart guy but he never imagined ever being this close to him. "There is nothing I would rather do tonight."

Kendall's Purchases Black Cotton Pants- 5 SM White Cotton Shirt- 5 GM Green Cotton Shirt- 5 SM Black Leather Jacket- 5 GM OOCFeel free to add these to your list and I'll delete my list.

[Hadrian]

Hadrian blushed and looked away again when Kendall complimented him, but when he looked back there was a goofy grin on his face and it seemed like some of the ice in his eyes had melted. There was a covert squeeze to Kendall's hand. Then a couple of false starts to say something. "Well, I've had twenty-two years and I... Well, yes. I..." Still flustered, it took him a while to get the rest out. "I suppose I will take these home and... wait for you..."

[Kendall Saarinen]

The feeling of Hadrian's hand squeezing Kendall's sent a warm feeling through his body. He loved the feeling of his touch. He was so gentle unlike Kay'lan. It was not that the Vantha had hurt him. He had just been a little brash at times. He had been more forceful while Hadrian was more passive. It was a difference that Kendall appreciated but in truth he could barely think back to Kay'lan. Someone else was starting to capture his heart. Kendall was unsure about what he would do in the time he had left before he would arrive at Hadrian's abode. He was sure Cathan was off hunting and he did not know the first place to search for Sondra. It was a little sad that Kendall did not know what to do with his free time. Finally the time came when Kendall started to head to see Hadrian. He was nervous. He had no idea what to expect. He was not scared of Hadrian. He was more scared of himself. He did not want to mess everything up when it was going somewhat well by doing something stupid. When he was facing Hadrian's door he bit his lip and knocked. His heart was beating out of his chest but deep down he believed things would be okay, or his version of okay.

[Leviathan]

Thread Award! Kendall   Skills Skill Gain Info. Philosophy 1 -- Interrogation 1 -- Observation 1 -- Flirtation 2 -- Seduction 3 --   Lore A Touch of Masculineness Unnatural Reality Positive Feelings Towards Misfortune Hadrian   Skills Skill Gain Info. Persuasion 1 -- Observation 1 -- Rhetoric 2 -- Seduction 3 -   Lore A Taste of Feminism Dilemma: Love or Love of the Challenge The First "True" Kiss

Additional CommentsNothing to say, don't want to ruin the moment

I trust you guys can subtract your money from your ledger without me making a list of what you owe? Good.