Solo A Memory Re-Membered III

[Moritz Craven]

Continued 2 Winter 522

In some ways talking to Mathias as he was felt odd, like a dream. In other ways though it felt quite real, just as the time he had repeated the day and died several times had felt real each time... So far the only thing he had changed was leaving the boat, since he had convinced Julan to not go running off. But since that had such a large impact on his arrival that one change had let to many other things going differently.

Mortiz found it a bit funny how changing just one thing in hindsight had changed so many other things to come. Of course with that in mind Moritz was left to wonder what all actually was changed. Mathias seemed to be reacting to the story more or less just as the founders had before... Nothing he knew of had been done after he reported what he had seen in his vision, so his arrival had not really done anything in regards to his purpose for coming to Syka... But even if by that single measure nothing had changed, other things had changed.

The first thing that came to mind was Julan himself, who would be left intact and with Moritz... Not gone in whatever way he had been vanished that Moritz had been unable to learn about. Along with that, in this chain of events, the trio from Lhavit that had come with Moritz would likely be able to stick around and not leave the city after their arrival. Which, Moritz supposed, would possibly lead to him getting more done in exploring the city... Possibly. Though with how trash his skills had been and to a degree still where he was left unsure how much that directly would have an impact.

Pushing on past such thoughts Moritz focused back to the moment at hand, namely explaining his vision in detail to Mathias as he had promised to and meeting the mans eyes.

"Right, so... The vision... It happened back when I was in Lhavit, It started out with me seeing Morwen, as she was entering the jungle. I could see her moving along, and coming upon some sort of... Gate... Thing. And when she traveled through it... Ah but before that I could also tell the reason she was going there. It was in hopes of finding a family member she lost. She seemed to have learned some information which she believed would lead to her lost family. Apparently one of her family members... I cannot recall who though, or if I could tell that... A child maybe? Anyways, she had lost a family member, and she was trying to track them down, and somehow ended up here at the gate. And so that was why they had traveled through the gate and ended up in the hot world."

Speaking as he was Mathias had a few questions here and there, and Moritz had to re-explain a few things to make them clear. He was no master of spinning a tale, even in regards to just explaining a memory as best he could, and so had some trouble making his words completely clear.

"Once she passed through the gate, she ended up on that hot world, and then... Some kind of creature. I could not make it out, but it was horrid, a foul thing and powerful. It was able to capture and bind her, and kept her from going back. That is why she did not ever return. It took her to its abode, its... Fortress of sorts... And then it bound her to its throne, chained her there and would not let her leave. And then like bleeding a pig, it bled her of her icy powers, pouring it out upon the overheated world to cool it. Which just made her weaker and weaker, making it all the more impossible for her to escape."

Pausing her in his retelling Moritz met Mathias eyes, but as before he seemed as stoic as ever. If nothing else he was unmoved by Moritz tale, though he did seem to be paying attention to what he said. Moritz for his part though had trouble keeping calm, remembering the emotions he had felt on first having the memory as he worked to pull out all of the details he could.

"I... She... If nothing is done, she will die. Slowly. And painfully. In some ways, it seems it would be a mercy to end her in that state... But whether freeing her of her pain by literally freeing her and bringing her home to here, or by ending her... I don't know which is more feasible, but doing nothing, just letting her suffer... It seems kind of wrong."

As he finished talking Mathias met his eyes again, letting out a breath before calmly speaking to the Kelvic. "Moritz... Even if this is all true, what does that mean? Does it mean you need to go off and do something? Or that you should run off and get yourself killed? Gods die. It is a fact. They do not all live forever. Yes it has more impact than a person dying, people live much shorter lives... But gods die Moritz. You freaking out over it or getting yourself killed... If it won't do anything for it, then should you?"

As Mathias responded to Moritz words the Kelvic was reminded of the first time he had told the Sykan's of Morwen and her apparent fate... He had much the same to say then, though not in exactly the same words. In that respect it was clear nothing had changed much from his original time in telling others of his earlier vision.

WC: 950

[Moritz Craven]

Left to think on what Mathias had said, Moritz cast his eyes downward as he once more considered the question. Was it his responsibility to do something? Was he, assuming he had been given the vision on purpose, supposed to do something? Or even if he was given it on purpose, was he perhaps supposed to just spread the word... Would someone give a vision to him, knowing how young and weak he was, and expect him to do something? It seemed silly... But still.

"I know gods die. People die. Dira calls those she calls, regardless of their wishes... But still... It just seems wrong to do nothing when someone is actively suffering... Even knowing I cannot realistically do anything, it still seems that way to me. Even with all this time and thinking, it still does..."

Saying this out loud, Moritz realized at some level he was not speaking on he still felt responsible for Morwen. Which as Mathias pointed out was rather silly, though not in those exact words. Was it his duty to do anything? Should the gods be doing something? Surely back in Lhavit Zintila had been told, after all his words had been given to the co leaders of Lhavit, and so surely the word had been passed on to her... So then at least one god knew about Morwen and her situation... Was he responsible for anything more than that. Logically, the answer was no. He could see the logic in Mathias words, trying to unburden him though perhaps not on purpose.

And then having taken on that burden, he went further by coming to the jungle and trying to seek out the gate Morwen had gone through. And now here he was spreading the words onward to others, taking another step to try and get the word out. Which, possibly, was already beyond the scope of his responsibility. What was he due? What did he need to do? He was unsure on that, but from what most seemed to be saying he had already gone above and beyond what he needed to do in disseminating the story. Which was how he had ended up alone and friendless and risking his life in Syka...

"It still does not seem right... What you say makes sense. There is a logic to it. Is this my responsibility? Probably not. Should the gods perhaps be doing something? Zintila should know. I assume other gods know by now... So why not pass it on to them, and stop dwelling. But somehow that logical bit of my brain is not as strong as that feeling like I should do something because I know..."

By now Moritz had gestured, and walked, and moved about Mathias place as much as seemed physically possible. But at that moment the man slapped a hand down on one of Moritz shoulders to hold him in place, and turned him to meet his gaze. There Moritz felt he saw some level of understanding. Not at the vision, but in how Moritz felt. About his failings, or feelings of failings. Mathias seemed to get it. Perhaps, Moritz realized, such feelings were not so outside the norm.

Mathias meeting his eyes spoke to the Kelvic again. "Moritz... Your a Kelvic, right? How old are you... That is young... Very young. I get what you are saying. But in life, you will have to learn to deal with such feelings, or you will be overwhelmed by them. Lets be real. You are just one person. You are not a god, just a normal person limited as people are. You cannot be everywhere, or help everyone. And feeling bad when you fail to do so will only lead to sadness. Okay? And even gods do not go around doing that. They don't go around meddling and trying to fix every problem people have. If you don't want to be miserable, you will have to grow up, and learn to accept such things. Help those you can. Do what you think you can or need to... But those things you cannot, nothing good will come of dwelling on them. It will only weigh you down, and stop you from doing what you need to do."

Moritz once more nodded, realizing there was heat on his face and wetness from his eyes. While he had spoken to Mathias before, they had never gotten into such things. And while he had not really divulged anything to Moritz, or revealed any secret, he had tackled Moritz problem with the logic and reasoning and mind of someone who had lived much longer than he. Someone who perhaps had gone through their own problems, as most people did. Few, Moritz realized, lived an entirely happy or stress free life.

In the end Moritz felt the biggest impact of going another route was not saving Julan... Though in some ways that would be a big impact... Nor was it the others from Lhavit sticking around... Instead, it was the words of Mathias so calm and reasonable that had the biggest impact. Like a burden or weight upon his back and upon his heart being lifted by another to lessen the impact it had on him. Moritz was unsure why it meant so much, but those simple words spoken as they were did mean a lot to him...

"Thank you Mathias... It means a lot, to hear that. I'm not sure why... But it does. I guess I was burdening myself on something likely not my duty... I cannot stop feeling as I feel, but neither do I need to focus so much on it and refuse to be reasonable."

With a nod and a pat Mathias pointed at the window, and back the way they had come. "Why don't you head back out to the docks, and help your companions unload. I need to go and talk this over with some people, and get their input.".

Moritz nodded, heading outside, wondering then how much of this was real. Would Mathias have really acted that way in the original time had Moritz acted as he had now... Of course, he was much more grown now than he was then, much older compared to his barely budding body only just having finished his last major growth spurt. Now he had settled into his form, and was constant...

As he walked out of the building and thought on this, the image of the memory faded, and Moritz was left back were he began... In his hand was left the quill, the odd item he had picked up before which had started it all. With a sigh he looked at it, and sat down to work through all that he had seen.

WC: 1,123