[Aidara's Scrapbook] It's Real For Us

by **Bolden Denusk** on November 25th, 2011, 6:54 pm

We were SO close!!! *noms n <3's on*

Me in New Hampshire, and you in Rhode Island!

by **Aidara** on November 30th, 2011, 1:27 am

It's all Uphill from here.

*Plops down onto her sofa with coffee and a warm blanket* Really, I haven't felt this content in a long time. Months, in fact.

I was missing my home and I didn't even realize it. While I know that Rhode Island isn't the place where I want to create my forever home, nice, long doses of the place will always do me good. To see all my friends that I have known forever, my family, my parents pets (I have to call them that now because they aren't mine

)... it all makes me feel... better. That's the only way to describe it.

School, Adoptive Family and just overall stress was really getting to me. It was killing my will, my drive to do anything. I had so much writing I wanted to get out for the month of November, I wanted to completed NaNo SO BADLY... but everything just seemed to work against me. Sure, I could have pushed myself even harder but the repercussions wouldn't have been worth it. I know myself well enough by now to realize when I have to stop or I'm just going to do further harm to myself. Sucks being so fragile

But now I am back and I'm all good, even with adoptive Family drama and the little subsequent fights between Ian and I that come with the drama aside... I feel very productive.

I am new to DS-hood, however. Jen told me today, nicely, that I didn't have to ask her permission for anything anymore. Mind BLOWN. I'm not used to just... doing stuff. So once that novelty wears off as well as the hesitancy that comes with a new position... I think I'll be a developing, creating, writing fool. I used to believe that I was a poor storyteller but my spirits have been bolstered by this.

I also owe Wrenmae a super epic quest. Poor guy came back during NaNo, not expecting for everyone to be rushing word counts. He's been very patient with me and I hope he likes the payoff. I get to play around with gods now, so his quest needs some re-vamping before I start back up.

And that traveling thing too. I'm working hard on that, and it's a little confusing but I think once there is more input it will just become clearer and easier to do.

As for my actual PC's.... Well, I'm excited. Addy and Sira are progressing really nicely, with the baby on the way and all the cool things Ron and I have planned for afterwards. I was talking to Ron just yesterday and mentioned how I was glad that the two women were slowly working their way towards something awesome. For so long I felt like Addy was just gimping along, hardly cool or no where close to epic. But now that we're on our way.... I am glad. I like PC's that gradually work their way into something bigger, something more, instead of being created for an epic purpose. At least the ones that I'm playing, they have more.... life.

Cailet is a completely different story, but I am equally excited about her. I made her over a year ago now and have just been floundering for a purpose. Jen gave me one, and now I am just floundering for a way to start. I've thought about that PC sooooo much in my head, she's completely written herself. The problem is, the Cailet that I have started on Miz and the Cailet that has transformed in my head are completely different... and I am consistant. I need a way for Miz Cailet to make those transformations in a way that doesn't seemed forced and rushed. THEN I can get my big plan underway. And Katie said she'd help me. *Squees* Ron and Katie are epic all by themselves... how did I get so fucking lucky?

I'm also excited because Cailet will travel. Addy, I fear, will never travel very far. That means that with Cailet, I am going to be able to play with all the awesome Miz writers that I know by name and Chat but have never written with.

I'm so excited.

by **Jameson Kindle** on November 30th, 2011, 1:41 am

This is great to hear, Julie! I'm excited for you and your PC's.

I hope that Cailet will make her way to one or more of my PC's. If you'd like, I'm still brainstorming for a thread with Cailet and Sterling. If she's moving soon, let me know so I can adjust accordingly.

I'm glad your Thanksgiving was pleasant as well. I know what it's like to return home to family. It feels awesome, especially when you're not really expecting it. Sometimes I feel like, "Oh man I don't feel like going home." And then when I do, it's great, and I don't realize hoe great it did me until I get back to my apartment. It's fantastic.

As for DS-hood, wow. I can't wait to see what all you'll do with Wind Reach now! I'm so glad to have a PC there! Maybe I'll wriggle a modded thread out of you sometime soon.

If you don't mind, that is. Hahah, <3

I'm proud of you, Juliebear.

It brings a smile to my face hearing about how happy you are!

by **Phoenix** on November 30th, 2011, 10:06 pm

Today was going to be a super productive day. I planned everything out that I was going to do, alloting myself time to goof off, read and run errands.

Then School informed me that my finincial aid stuff for next semester is completely fucked up and that I need to go do a bunch of things in order to get my residancy. Now, they accuse me of not having this all together but the last time I talked to them I said "Is there ANYTHING else I need to do? Anything at all?" And they said "No, you are good to go." So I believed them.

How foolish.

What irritates me is they expect me to ask questions that I don't even know exist. How am I supposed to know to ask about the entrance loan form/exam thing when I have never heard of it? YOU"RE Supposed to tell me that. It is their job to notice that A) I mentioned this is my first semester at the college, B) I am listed as an out-of-state student right there on the main page of my info and C) Take into account all of the issues that arise in the computer system when you're dealing with an out of state student.

Right, so when I came here to Cali I wasn't thinking of residency. Not at all. I was thinking about finding a place to live, work etc... residency requirements for school was the last thing on my mind. I also, naively, didn't know you had to change your drivers license right away either. That's not the point..

They knew I was an out of state student and this was my first semester. Wouldn't that set off bells that they have a checklist they have to go over with me to make sure that I have done everything that needs to be done? Why can't they assume that I don't know half of the things I need to do because I'm new here?

Sigh. It's just so frustrating because I have been working so hard on this and it turns out I have just done everything completely wrong, mostly because I've been given snippits of information. Like, someone gives you a story but they give you chapters 2, 7, 14 and 20. It doesn't help you at all, does it? You kinda know whats going on...a little..but there is so much that you're missing.

And It's not my fault either. I've done my research, I've looked up things to the best of my ability (Anyone who has gone to university can attest that college websites are HORRIBLE) and I've asked questions of multiple people multiple times.

Long story short, there is a wrench in the works today. My stress level has gone through the roof and instead of being productive like I planned I am going to go take a stress induced nap because I suddenly feel very tired.

Wren will still get his post, all my modly duties for today will be finished, I will post for aidara and cailet... just... in a few hours. When I calm down.

by **Bolden Denusk** on November 30th, 2011, 10:31 pm

I understand completely how frustrating college bureaucracy can be. May I recommend some choccie chip cookies, hot chocolate and a nice nap?

by **Aidara** on December 1st, 2011, 1:36 am

I took the nap. I have no cookies

And I substituted the hot chcolate for diet coke because now that I'm awake, I'm tired and have tons of work to do. *sigh*

by **Jameson Kindle** on December 1st, 2011, 1:44 am

Julie, love, I know exactly how ya feel. It's ridiculous how unorganized colleges can be, especially considering half the time, the financial aid workers are Student Assistants or fresh out of college with NO experience under their belts. It's extremely frustrating. But remember a couple of things:

1. This, too, shall pass.

2. DO NOT indulge in eating when you're stressed. You can beat the hormones. I know how in the past we've talked about this. Do something low maintenance instead! A bubble bath, read, walk a dog, draw, paint, exercise, go for a walk... Anything.

3. Vent. It's proven to release hormones that will make you feel better.

4. Keep calm and carry on.

<3

Just breathe and relax. You have to put your foot down sometimes, even when it seems it's one thing after another, and the stress keeps piling on. I know it sounds dumb and unproductive, but it will help.

You can call me anytime, and if I don't answer, I'll get right back to you.

by **Aidara** on December 3rd, 2011, 12:48 am

Ouch

It's been quite a while since my feelings have been this hurt. On the same hand, a few well placed comments regarding the legitimacy of my logic over the Kelvic Aging process got so under my skin that I can't let it go. With my already wounded emotional state, I backed down from the argument (that I was, by the way, completely right about) and let this person win. I had had enough fighting for the day, though now I wish I had stood up for what I knew was right.

Jen (4:11 PM): Deep breaths, Deep breaths.

Yep. Letting it go. It's not that big of a deal. They were arrogent comments shot at me at just the wrong time. Letting. it. go.

As for being hurt? It's the straw that broke the camel's back. Same ol' same ol' in the Adoptive parents department. I wont go into detail because I don't feel like reliving it and I also promised myself that my scrap wouldn't be a bunch of crying or angry fests. I'll just say that I was sick this morning and the one person I can depend on here in CA was very rudely taken from me in my time of need. On top of everything else I've had to deal with, I felt like I was getting a big fat "fuck you" with a middle finger right up beside it.

Letting it go.

So, in lue of Scar and Cowboy's busy lives and my less than busy one, I was propositioned by our lovely Katie to help out in reviewing the over abundance of new CS's for mistakes (this is actually the reason why I got splattered with arrogance last night regarding the question of Kelvic ages. I don't normally just float around picking on people's PC's.) That little incident aside, I hope everyone else that I nicely correct will respond in a more mature manner.

I actually don't mind looking through CS's. I find it intriguing to look and see what brilliant (or less than brilliant) character concepts people come up with. Because I know how I think and I know how I write, it's refreshing to see different styles and different ideas. I'm sure everyone starts to feel a bit stale with their stuff after a while.

Not only that, but I am woefully ignorant to a lot of the different cities out there, race specifics and some magic/gnosis'. It's not because I don't care. I've read the lores on all the races, cities, magics, gods/goddess in their entirety multiple times... but sometimes, stuff just slips out. I've forgotten a lot, and I also haven't come across a lot of different magics or gods in Wind Reach when I'm grading or modding. I only have PC's in WR, Lhavit, Burning Lands and Avanthal and I am not the kind of person that can just sit for hours and read random threads. I just can't. It's not that they aren't interesting... I just don't have the attention span.

So instead of looking at this as another thing I have to do, I'm looking at it as an opportunity to brush up on the lore and make myself a better storyteller all around.

by **Aidara** on December 5th, 2011, 1:22 am

Christmas Music
Why is it so awesome?

It has become a long standing tradition between myself and Betsy, my best friend since I was in third grade, to go to the Trans Siberian Orchestra every year at the beginning of December when they played at our local... place that big things go to: The Dunkin Donut's Center aka "The Dunk".

I must have seen their light show 7 or 8 times by now. Every year it's exactly the same. Every year it has the same songs in the same order, the same announcer announcing things and the same lazer show... But still, I don't care. I love it.

Now, I don't normally like rock'n'roll christmas songs (if that's what you can call TSO) but for some reason.... I just love it. I have a few choice favorites that I like to listen too, but for the most part I find a lot of the newer Christmas song Remakes irritating. However, when I saw the video I linked above like, seven years ago... it was right after I'd gone to my first TSO concert in person. That video was my favorite thing for the entire season that year and I still love seeing it now. It's been done over and over since then, but Wizards of Winter is by far my favorite christmas song.

A close second being "Baby, it's cold outside".

It's a shame that I can't really write while listening to songs that have lyrics because I would so love to just listen to a christmas channel on an online radio station and just... sit here. Ugh, that would be so awesome. I would explode in a puff of Christmas glory within a few days.. but it would be awesome in the meantime.

I can't, by the way, listen to anything other than instrumental music while I write because the singing will either distract me from my thoughts or I will completely tune the music out, which defeats the whole point. I don't just tune out the voices because usually the instruments behind the voices aren't strong enough to stand on their own.

Anyway. Enjoy one of my favorite songs.

Also... 'Tis the Season for Wintery Scrapbook backgrounds!

by **Gossamer** on December 5th, 2011, 1:37 am

.

Barrons: An Obsession
You are not alone, Jules, oh no not by far. Everyone loves JZB.

If no one knows who this guy is, they are missing out. Jericho Barrons is one of the single most mysterious and scrumptious men in fantasy fiction anywhere. And, not letting the cat out of the bag or anything, he's Jules' latest obsession. I totally understand it too. He was mine for a while as well. Seems hes EVERYONES all over the net. So I just thought, Jules, I'd post you a pic here... just something to drool over.

And now, everyone, give her some alone time with that pic please.

.